I Love You Too

  So, I'm back with another post. Because I know how much you guys love them (joke, haha). Seriously though, I don't know why nothing would come whenever I was trying to write something, but it wouldn't come.

  A couple of days ago, I was listening to Mumford and Sons because I'm such a hipster, and the song "White Blank Page" came on because it was part of the playlist. No biggie, right? Songs usually come on when they're part of a playlist. The song is here:

  So I was listening to that song and one of the lines I had never really listened to caught my ear. He says "You desired my attention, but denied my affection." And I got this weird look on my face like I just ate something rotten and was watching the most beautiful sunset in the universe at the same time. In that line, I didn't just hear Marcus Mumford singing, I heard a near desperate, almost heartbroken cry.  In that line, God was saying to me "You desired my attention but denied my affection." And then later, the same desperation came through in the line "Tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?" 

  I wanted to cry. 

 I thought of all the "conversations" I had with God where I'm accusing Him of something.

  "Why are you making this so hard on me? Why don't you make it easier? Do you like to see me fail?"

  Tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?  I wasn't listening.

  "God, why isn't this working out the exact way I want it? Do you like frustrating me or something?"

  Tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart? Again, I didn't listen.

   Needless to say, after listening to this song, I was very upset with myself. I desired His attention but denied His affection, when really that's all I need. And it upset me so much. How could I have been so heartless, so blind to the love that was being offered to me? All He's done is love me and all I've done is "gimme gimme." Even now as I'm writing this I feel a little disgust at the way I've been. A spoiled brat.

  It got me to wondering if anyone else acted this way. If you're acting like a brat, there's no shame and no condemnation, but stop it (in the most loving way possible). Here we have a God infinite in being and abounding in love, and he wants to give us that love and instead he's nudging us, saying "You desired my attention, but denied my affection. So tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?" And we just gripe. We need to stop. We need to be a loving bride, not a nag who only wants more and more. I'm amazed that He still loves us with all of that whining we do. And yet, in His awesomeness and fantasticality, He still loves us.